why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize