i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
