Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just had sex bonerless
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize