My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she told me i tasted like america
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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