im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize