i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
