i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
