It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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