I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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