at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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