And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
