And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
