I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
