my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Sober January is a disaster.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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