I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
