careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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