ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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