hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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