She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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