Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
