i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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