through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
