k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
