Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
