youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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