There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
