I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Mom said you looked used
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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