I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
