Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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