Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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