Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
