I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
