We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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