did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I will pee on everything he values.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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