Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
