I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Randomize