dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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