The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
