Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize