I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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