he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
