I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
