On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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