Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
