woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
