I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
