I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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