If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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