i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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