she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
