make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
