"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Everything about him screamed your future.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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