she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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