conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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