I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he thought i was a dude.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
there is puke in my bra ... again
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize