yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I met the friendliest cop last night
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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