Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
