Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
