Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
