i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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