Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
