a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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