I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
