Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
