So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
