I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The air taste purple.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
