how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
