well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize